Cant Be Him
by COCOnutlove16
Summary: Bella is a quiet girl with a bit of attitude with a best friend/love of her life online. He's sweet, funny, and easy to talk to. Nothing like Edward Cullen who humiliated her best friend in Freshman year. Now, as Senior year starts, Edward and Bella's lives intertwine and now her rock is part of her confusion. better sum inside. Rated T in case. R&R!


**Hey guys! I'm going to update my other stories right after I post this, but I wanted to get this new story started first. This is my first Twilight fan fic, I know that this plot has probably been used before, but I wanted to do it for myself. **

**SUMMARY: Bella is the quiet girl with attitude when needed, not to mention clumsy that ruins her dramatic exits most the times. She has a best friend like no other on a teenager IM sight, he's funny, sweet, understanding, and a great guy, nothing like the jerk, Edward Cullen at school that apparently is **_**too**_** cool for anyone at school. He's a strange guy that sticks to his small group of friends and ignores anyone who tries to talk to him, topped off with a cocky attitude. She had hated him ever since he turned down her sweet best friend, Angela, in a cruel way when she had quietly asked him out at lunch Freshman year. Now, with Senior year starting, things become twisted with Edward's group and Bella. Can she get her life back on track, or will she turn to the person she didn't want to confide in.**

**Sorry, that was a tacky summary, but I promise that the story will be good, I have good ideas for it. **** please Review!**

BPOV

I cursed under my breath and caught myself with the railing as I slipped down the stairs on the morning of my last first day of high school. I considered hitting something in my anger but decided that I would most likely break my hand if I did. Charlie had already headed out to work before I had woken up, nothing unusual, and if I managed to knock myself out then I would have no one around to help me.

I carefully navigated the rest of the way down the short flight of stairs and headed to the kitchen. The stove clock showed me that it was 7:15, I would leave the house at 7:30 and school started at 8:30. I don't live far from the school, but my friend, Angela, and I always hid out in the library before school, talking, reading and just enjoying each other's company. Notice how I said friend, singular, as in one. Yes, I pretty much only have one friend at school. My only other friends would be my childhood friend, Jacob Black, on the Rez and another boy that I don't even know his name. Okay, odd, I know his penname, though, **IAmTheLion**.

I met his on a teenager IM sight at the beginning of Freshman year when my Health teacher recommended it. Even if I didn't know his name, he was my best friend, someone that even Angela couldn't replace. He's not only my best friend, but he's also the love of my life. Yeah, I love him and I don't even know his name. Apparently I've seen him though, we both go to Forks High, and come on, it's not like the school is big at all.

Presently, I was pouring myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerio's. I opened the fridge and found that we were out of milk, great, I would have to shop after school because Charlie sure didn't.

Charlie is my dad, I don't know why I never call him dad, he is my real dad and I have nothing against him to make me disown him as my father, I still love him. He took me in after my mom, Renee, ran off with her drug dealer and abandoned me when I was 12, now, five years later, I don't even feel like I am missing out in anything in life. Sure, I'm 17 and have never had a boyfriend, but I was never interested in dating any of the pigs here, except for **IAmTheLion** of course. Charlie had tried to match me with Jacob several times, but I wasn't exactly Jacob's…. type… if you catch my drift, him and his boyfriend, Sam, were very happy, though.

I just grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard and decided to head out early. I ran upstairs, slamming my shin only once, and brushed my teeth and grabbed my bag. I looked at myself in my floor length mirror. I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't exactly Beauty Queen material either. I was plain. Plain, thick brown hair that reached the middle of my back when down was currently hanging in its usual waves. I guess I like my hair the most out of my whole body, it was cooperative at least. I had Charlie's brown eyes and pale skin, almost like an albino, I didn't tan, I just burnt. Unfortunately, this skin always revealed my famous blush that stained my cheeks constantly. I was around 5'4" with an okay body. I didn't exactly have toned abs or muscular thighs from doing sports. I just had a flat stomach and small body with everything else from regular activity, I was never a fan of the TV or really junky food, I wasn't a health freak, either though.

I was satisfied with my plain, button up, white shirt underneath my brown zip up jacket and dark blue, boot cut jeans with brown boots, so I shouldered my orange back pack and trudged out the door, making sure to lock the door behind me. My old Chevy truck was waiting outside for me with heat and a way to get to school semi-safely. The red-ish-orange truck was a gift from Charlie for my 17 birthday and I didn't care if it was loud and old, it had character and was the kind of truck that if you saw it in a car crash, the Mercedes it had hit would be crumbled and it would still be there without a dent.

I slipped my way cautiously down the driveway covered with morning dew. One thing that I never really got used to was the cold and wet of Forks, Washington, ice and the uncoordinated did not get along. I grabbed onto the drivers door handle so that I didn't slip past it and yanked it open, climbing into my car and slamming it shut behind me. I fumbled with the keys before managing to get it into the ignition and cranking up the heat. I yanked the gear shift a couple times before I was able to pull out slowly and onto the deserted street that lead to another street that was a bit more busy. A few miles down this road and I found my school.

If you had never been to Fork's, or even if you had, you wouldn't be able to find the school except for the brick sign at the edge of the road that notified passerby's that the only school in Fork's was off to their right. I turned carefully into the slightly empty parking lot. There were a few cars there already, probably teachers mostly and a few other kids, who, like me, had nothing else to do on a Monday morning.

I pulled up into my usual spot not far from the building that held the library. I turned off the engine and reluctantly climbed out of the car into the slightly warmer air. The dew was already melting with the dim sun shining through the constant cloud cover. I scurried into the library and breathed a sigh of relief to be inside from the light wind, like I said, I don't like the cold.

I looked around, the library looked the same as always. Everything about Fork's is small, small town, small population, small businesses, small buildings, small everything. Except for our school library. The library was actually bigger than most school libraries, giving off an olden and traditional feel with it's high shelves that his corners with sofas and computers and spaces that many students hadn't even discovered.

Angela and I always met in the back corner of the library, one of the hidden spaces with comfortable couches, a couple of computers, and tinted windows so that we could see out to the parking lot without any arriving or leaving kids knowing that they were being examined.

I made my way through the empty library to that corner. Hardly any kids ever came here, especially 45 minutes before school starts, and the librarian was almost always hiding out in a back room reading or making copies or something like that.

I found our secret coven and dropped my back pack to the ground with a _thump_ that echoed hollowly around the small area.

I sat on a padded chair in front of the computer and logged on. I hadn't talked to Lion, my nickname for him, since yesterday morning and I was itching to talk to him. Pathetic, I know, but I craved his words and talk like my own personal brand of heroin. I got onto the IMTeens and logged into my account. I found our usual chat room and immediately tapped out a short greeting.

**Stumbelina: **Hey, Lioness. ;)

Yeah, my penname was sad, but it definitely described me. Charlie had called me that all the time when I was younger and I had fallen on stage during my ballerina recital. I was crying like any other humiliated 7 year old would and he had made me laugh when he called me that. the nickname had stuck over the years, although he only teases me with it now.

I enjoyed teasing Lion for his cheesy name and he never disappointed to play along. It didn't take long for him to respond.

****IAmTheLion**: **What's up, Prick?

Lion always called me that. When we had first talked on here he had misread my name and though that it was Thumbelina, he immediately though of a sewing thimble for some reason and called me Prick from then on, even after he realized that that wasn't my name.

**Stumbelina:** Bored out of my mind. Mondays are bad enough, but this is just torture.

I complained. He never minded that I complained, we would just tease each other for the miseries we had while still being there for each other in serious business, we knew when to be serious and when they just needed someone to snap them back to reality.

****IAmTheLion**: **Understood. My mom literally had to drag me out of bed this morning. Well, actually, she managed to guilt me into getting up. That woman can be evil if she wants to be.

**Stumbelina:** No, you're just a softie and a Mama's boy. ;)

****IAmTheLion**:** Now, now, no need to be cruel. I just happen to enjoy my mom's chocolate chip pancakes cut out in a heart just for me. ;) but when I leave the house I go and kick some but without regret.

I rolled my eyes at his odd sense of humor.

**Stumbelina: **you're a strange fella, aren't you?

****IAmTheLion**: **Says the stumbling pelican.

Worse mistake I ever made was telling him about my dance recital and describing what I looked like to him.

Before I could respond, I heard a familiar voice behind me, "Are you confessing your unconditional and undying love for him yet?" Angela asked right behind me.

I let out a small shriek at the proximity and suddenness of her voice and whirled around in the chair, holding a hand to my heart, "Angela! You scared the crap out of me!" I accused, avoiding the question. Angela was the only one who knew about my love for my online best friend.

Angela rolled her dark brown eyes behind her cute glasses and flopped onto the couch in front of me, her long black hair flipping out behind her with the motion and fixed me with an accusing gaze.

"Swan," She warned, dangerously.

I sighed, "Fine, let me just say good bye."

I turned back to the computer, ignoring the knowing smirk that Angela wore. She was the sweetest girl ever, but she knew how to deal with my stubbornness issue.

**Stumbelina: **Hey I got to go, I'll talk to you lunch.

****IAmTheLion**: **yeah, I have to log off too, I will talk to you then. Don't break anything. ;)

I blushed at the winking even though I didn't know if he actually was, but I could just picture this guy doing that and me swooning. Whenever I tried to think of what he might look like, I could never come up with a picture that would last in my head. He wouldn't look like anything stereotypical at all in my mind, so I never knew what to think when I thought about what he might look like.

I sighed again and logged off, taking my time to turn it off before turning back around to Angela who was still smirking at me. I played dumb and raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

"Ugh! Bella, you've been in love with this guy since Sophomore year, why don't you just tell him already!"

The bell rung then, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to escape from her because of it, because we had the same class. I grabbed my back pack as she did hers and we headed towards the front of the library and out the doors. It wasn't until we were already walking outside around the steadily growing crowd of drowsy students that I answered, "I don't know, I'm not exactly popular or seen, what if I'm not what he thought I was?"

Angela walked ahead of me and cut me off with her hands on my shoulders, looking down at me. She was few inches taller than me and she always used this to her advantage, "Bella, if he doesn't want you after meeting you in person, then he isn't the guy _you_ thought he was. You would know who he really was then, and honestly, why would you ever stay in love with someone after finding out he was jerk?"

I was about to answer when a smooth voice with a cocky attitude spoke up, "Aww, Is Swan having boy problems?"

I turned around and glared at Edward Cullen with an attitude that only he evoked from me, "Jack off, Cullen, we weren't talking to you."

I started to turn back to Angela when he cut in again, "Whatever Swan, I don't need you." He said in a cold voice.

"Good, because you weren't going to get me," I replied smoothly without looking at him.

I heard an irritated huff before he turned around and walked away, my shoulders relaxed from the tension he always called me.

Angela raised an eyebrow at me, "Wow, that sexual tension was killing me, Bella."

I glared at her in shock, "Do you honestly think I would go for "Too-good-for-anyone-Cullen" after what he did to you?" I questioned.

Angela rolled her eyes and we started walking again, "That was in Freshman year, Bella and it's not like he totally crushed my life."

She was right, and I knew, but he was still a jerk. No matter how much I hated the Ego filled Cullen, I couldn't help but be attracted to him like any other girl and that just made me hate him more. Whenever I felt like my resolve for avoiding him was crumbling, I would just think of Lion, Lion was my rock in this tipped world and I remembered that I was holding out for him and the day that I could finally meet him, that meant that Edward wasn't an option, because nobody as sweet and fun as Lion could have anything in common with someone like Edward Cullen.

**Sorry, the ending was kinda cheesy, but I'm pretty proud of this chapter. Please Review! Reviews really do motivate me to update. If you read this, liked this, and want to read more, please review. I'm begging you! Okay, now I'm just being pathetic. Haha. R&R!**

**~COCO**


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